I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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