but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
