My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
