Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
