Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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