Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
