I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
