i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
