just tell him i said nine months
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
