Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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