I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
