Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
