i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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