That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
