S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
