Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
