Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
