I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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