Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
