i don't like sucking hair
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's just like the Real World with babies
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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