make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
