Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
