I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
