i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
