i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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