Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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