i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I need to calm my uterus...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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