so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
