Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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