After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
