Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
