shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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