Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
