i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
