Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
