Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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