I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
