If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
