the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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