Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
