one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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