it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
