At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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