Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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