I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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