it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
