Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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