ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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