I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
