good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
