Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
bring money and cleavage
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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