Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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