Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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